Crumbs from a full plate...

Choosing My Reaction

I was sleeping soundly at 6:15am this morning when the light came on in the bedroom and my husband  said, "How much do you think we will spend on medical expenses this year? And what were the details of the bill for Guy's orthodontic work."

Yeah, I was surprised. And my first reaction internally was not very friendly.

Funny thing is that on Tuesday of this week I taught a message at M.O.M. Time about communication based off of Ephesians 4:29 where I made up an example almost exactly like this. Except this one wasn't made up...it was in my bedroom. Today. Early in the morning.

I sat up and said something to the effect of "huh??"  And Joe realized that he had probably chosen poorly when it came to financial discussion time; apologized quickly, mentioned that the deadline for signing up for our flex spending was Friday and  turned the light back out before  heading downstairs.

I'm not going to lie to you, this is not the first time I have been woken up like this. Just as I like to choose poorly and discuss what we should do about christmas while Joe is watching a ballgame in the fall - he spends his quiet morning time thinking of stuff and likes to get those answers right then. And usually, he pays dearly for those questions. I am not shy about being ugly when I am feeling wronged. Definitely an area of sin for me and something I have been convicted about - especially last week as I was writing a lesson on how to communicate in a God honoring way.

One of the questions I suggested we think of when trying to communicate well is "Is it a good time".  The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing is properly chosen. I agree  that  we should try not to blindside someone with a question when they are not expecting it. But, what if someone does it anyway? At that point, do I then have the right to react poorly cause they timed it poorly? Not at all.

So, I said a quick prayer of "please help me be gracious and thank you for giving me a hardworking, planning ahead kinda guy" as I headed down the stairs.  In the desk drawer was the contract. Bringing that and an index card to the kitchen counter I began listing all the known expenses for the upcoming year, laid out the two options we have for paying for braces and started the coffee. It only took about 10 minutes to answer all the years questions and Joe was able to leave for work prepared with all the little details he needs to make sure our family is prepared for 2010.

As I enjoyed my coffee,  I was so glad I choose to respond well. It might not have been my preferred best time, but it wasn't a bad time.

Caught off Guard

We've gotten pretty far behind in reading the New Testament with the kids. Our first 9 days were great...we read no matter what each night all together. Then...life got busy, kids got sick, we got tired of antics and wanted to put people to bed earlier...excuses abound.

So, tonight I knew we needed to get back on track. We've had a perfectly relaxing rainy friday afternoon. Angel (my sister) is here visiting and things have been humming along since we picked the kids up from school. We've visited, done a little housework, fixed supper and had rented a movie for the family. As we finished up supper, I announced that we should read. I struggled with this a little - I worry way to much about what others think. My mind went back and forth between will Angel think we're weird for reading and will she think we're just doing it for show cause we are behind. Like I said...way to much worry about appearances.

So, we sat down to read and amazingly everyone was happy and cooperative. Abby read the first chapter from Mark and then Guy read the second. As we headed into 1 Corinthians I opened up the message version up to chapter 5 and then did a double take at the page. Have you read 1 Corinthians 5 in a while? Me either....

"I also received a report of scandalous sex within your church..."  Wow! I stumbled a little and gave Joe a look over my eyebrows - not really what I intended to read tonight with my 3rd grader sitting so close. As I continued to read what is actually a very easy to understand explanation of sex, and marriage and even how to interact with people about those around you the kids giggled a little. But, when I continued they listened and eventually 3 chapters were over. And on the other side I was happy about having had an opportunity to put some thoughts in their heads about these really important topics.

So, if you want an interesting read, check out 1 Corinthians 5-7 in the Message version of the Bible. It's pretty plain, both in letter and the spirit.  But, you might want to put your 3rd grader to bed first.

Catching Up

It has been 12 days since Joe went to work. I think I could totally get used to this lifestyle of him hangin around. He really hasn't done much if you count it in tasks, but he has taken the kids to school and picked them up everyday, gone on a field trip with Meg, watch at least 2 after school flag football games for Guy, dropped me off at work each day and taken quite a few naps with Moe the dog. In general, it has been a refreshing little break in life.

It all ends on Monday when he heads off to the new job. Past experience tells me that he will work non-stop for months getting himself situated in the new culture. And I'm okay with that, cause at the end of the day I believe we were all created to work.

Tonight was our first Journey team meeting. It's a little weird, cause this is Joe's group and he's really trying to lead - and I'm a leader in the Journey structure. So, I have to ultimately act a little disconnected to keep myself from taking over. Plus, truthfully, I have control issues that arise pretty much anytime I'm not in control...

Poor Joe. I posted my facebook status and mentioned that I felt like maybe they should have given him some duct tape to cover my mouth with. But, actually it went pretty good - great actually. We have a group of people with a lot of commonalities in their season of life so they seemed to click. it's gonna be a fun 10 weeks.

Well, better end...Joe's going to read to us now.

Last Day

I am writing this post from my front porch even though it is a little chilly this morning. I know it won't be long that I get to sit on the porch - either the weather will turn too cold or my house will sell. Who knows if my next house will have a porch? We have such a list of non-negotiable requirements regarding that next house that adding a porch seems pretty risky. I laugh cause people always express concern because we haven't looked yet. What they don't realize is that by the time you narrow your options, and narrow your location, and narrow your list of requirements - you only get to look at a couple of house anyway.

I wanted to capture today in a post. Joe just left for his last day of work at Ayres.  This is more significant than many job changes. It was at least 3 years ago that he first began to feel like maybe this wasn't a place he could work, 2 years since he first felt like he might have to leave, and 1 year since he began looking. That is a long time and through it all he kept feeling certain that things were gonna work.

And suddenly we are at today. The last day at a place that captured his heart for the last 9 years. There is nothing 1/2 way in Joe Gallamore. Other people have commented about how now he can slack, but the truth is that he has worked late 3 nights this week trying to leave projects in a good spot for others. I suspect he is thinking about working late tonight. But, if he does, it will be the last time there...

Worn out and lovin it

Someday, when my boys are grown I plan to visit their homes. I look forward to that day when I can accept a canned drink from them and promptly pull the little tabby thing off to deposit inside my can.

I am already practicing the look for when I say, "oh, did you not want me to do that?"

And that is the stage of parenting I have entered. The stage where the things they do continuously can be annoying, but aren't that bad. And I wouldn't think to correct another person outside my family. So I have to seriously consider if it is necessary to harp on them all day. Actually, no consideration needed - I know it isn't, but man it might be fun. And yet, not so productive.

See the back and forth in my mind?

In all seriousness, school started back this year and my kids are exponentially older. With this school year I have a high schooler, another middle schooler and a 6th grader who is so over elementary school. Plus, a baby who doesn't even look back while she runs from the car in the morning. All summer it was easy to believe that they were all still just kids forever  hanging out and making messes.

Now they are suddenly so grown up. And the child who I was the most worried about has had a wonderful transition. Not only has it been fairly easy, but any problems have been simply humorous stories to share over snack. What a relief! On the other hand, the child who hasn't needed a thing for several years has cried both afternoons. And evenings. And still sniffling at bedtime.

Totally wasn't expecting that. And yet it sums up the stage of parenting I have entered. Two steps forward and one back. Totally capable and very hesitant. Very grown up and confident and needs momma.

I am totally lovin this new stage and totally worn out by it.

Rambles from my porch

I have escaped to my front porch where I can sit with my feet in the other chair, listen to Big Daddy Weave acoustic and ignore the mosquito's. Couple of thoughts...putting preteens and teens to bed is so much harder than toddlers in a totally different way. Although I am generally a softy - I never failed to quickly reach the place of "good night, feel free to cry, see ya in the morning" when my kids were little. In fact, I first learned to let a baby cry on a porch swing in AR. And nights like this when everything is awesome outside except for a few bugs I never fail to be thankful for said childhood in AR which taught me many things; most notably the ability to ignore bugs.

I have been home a few days from the She Speaks conference. I hit the ground running when I got back cause all of a sudden it was August and it was like I somehow forgot to work for the past 2 months. But, I do intend to blog about all I learned and heard. Less important, but no less an epiphany for me was that I don't like to say I am from WI. And that has nothing to do with enjoying the life I live here, but when push came to shove this weekend I found that I couldn't answer Wisconsin. I told Debbie "what if they ask if I eat cheese curds or know whether Brett Farve is gonna play? I'll be stumped and then what will I say." Instead I found myself claiming to live in WI. That sounds a little more truthful.

I'm not gonna lie - I think I'll be an Arkansan forever in my heart. Of course, I do think I would need some kind of acclimation training to actually live in a town of 10K an hour from the "big city" of Little Rock. But, that is beside the point.

Back to those kids. Man, the drama of trying to teach them to treat each other nice really tries my patience. For years I thought "okay, they'll learn it when they get more mature". Well, guess what. They are getting old. And now in the middle of every intense conversation I find myself thinking what if they never get this concept? What if this is how they talk to their husband/wife/boss/child for the rest of their lives? Can you imagine?

But, then they go to bed and I remember my childhood and think "bless my parents hearts, they shoulda probably pinched my head off."

And perspective returns.

11 years later

The other day in the car, one of the kids asked if any of them had been an accident. I tried to just ignore the question, but like a lot of questions nowadays - not answering is not an option. (distraction was an easier technique during the toddler years)

Realizing that now everyone was listening and I wasn't going to be able to ignore the question, I launched into a "teaching" on how children are never accidents. God creates each of them, etc. Only a few sentences into the speech, Abby said, "stop trying to teach us something and just tell us - were any of us an accident?? Were we, huh?"

Well...actually yes, two of my kids would fall into that category of not being planned by us. So, I admitted that, but quickly added that obviously God wasn't surprised...Interrupted by the sounds of children saying to each other - "I bet you were the accident!!"

These years are so fun.

But, 11 years ago we were blessed with a baby we probably wouldn't have planned cause we wouldn't have thought we could handle it. We would have run the numbers and made a mistake. But, as my momma said when we called her with the news, we "didn't use enough birth control!" Obviously God knew better than us what our family needed.

And Samuel Joseph Gallamore was born. And from the first day he has been a pleasure of the high maintenance sort. Full of giggles, quick witted comments and a truly caring heart he has made the last 11 years even fuller.

Happy Birthday Sam! Your Daddy and I adore you.

Better than I remember

Looking over old pictures has made one thing really clear to me...those were better years than I remember.

Having 4 kids in 5 years was fairly tough. Not combat tough, but hard enough that it felt like a lot of work most of the time. And if I heard once, I heard 100's of times "wow, you've got your hands full!" And I did, and I do and I don't know why anyone wouldn't want a full plate.

Here we are just after Sam's birth. Abby was 3 and Guy was 20 months old and in my memory Joe went back to work about 10 minutes after birth. (Not true, but fun to believe in the dark, exhausted nights.) The birth of my first dark haired baby changed a lot of things - more babies than hands, less people anxious to watch the cute kids and a whole lot more laundry. But, as I look at the pictures just a short year or two later, I see happy, smiling kids crawling all over their exhausted parents.

Earlier today I ran across a comment on facebook that my friend Debbie had offered to a mom who  needed hope. It was so good that I decided to steal it - someday when Debbie is published somewhere besides facebook I will be so glad to have an original piece of her work. Her point was excellent and applies to more than just parenting.

But I promise, it goes by so quickly. Just take it minute by minute if you have to, one right and loving decision after another, then pretty soon it's bedtime, then a new day, a new week, month, and year, and you will wonder how they got taller than you so quickly.

2001 Was a Great Year!

 

Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us.  ~Oscar Wilde

I decided back in the cold days of winter when schedules were pressing on me, that I was going to tackle my scrap booking failure once and for all. While pregnant with Megan, I began to scrapbook and worked at it earnestly for several months. It has a brief resurgence a year later when I was particularly bored...but otherwise I can't really say I do much more than buy an occasional sticker. Never do I apply a sticker to a page.

So, summer came and I began to think about what to do with the huge box of pictures and even more - what to do with all the digital pictures in my computer.  Finally, one night last week I decided to dive in. Of course, all hard work begins with some research online. This time it paid off, and I ended up at the picaboo website and less than 2 hours later I had 2001 completed.

Completely completed! A whole year - with some text, and lots of oohing and aahing over my totally adorable kids. Here are a few of my favorite pictures I found...

 

 

 

  

Inspiration

We spent several days camping last week. I am not particularly outdoorsy, but I enjoy camping with the family. There is an element of playing house that really appeals to me. One of the most fun things is figuring out how to cook great meals over a fire.

After one of these breakfasts - bacon, eggs, pancakes - Sam was watching me clean up.

Sam, "Do you enjoy cooking for us?"

ME, "Yeah, I do."

Sam, "Well, that's the kind of wife I'm gonna have - one who likes to cook and is good at it like you are."

Me, "that's great. I hope you find someone like that."

Sam, "Well, I have to, cause I'm just gonna be a lardo and sit around and she'll need to cook and stuff to make it all work right." (said while puffing his belly as big as he can and stroking it.)

Isn't it the role of the mother to inspire her children to greatness?

A Good Day

Today was a really good day. We had a lot of fun, accomplished several things and enjoyed each other. One of the projects we did was to paint the boys bedroom, erasing the sports mural they have had now for 4 years. Everyone got involved and did a little bit of painting.

 

 

  

While shopping on Saturday the boys saw some comforters that they liked and told me that they wished they could have them. We had been talking for a little while about painting their room more neutral, so I thought "okay, how bout now." They matched a taupe paint to one of the stripes and suddenly they were totally on board with what I actually wanted. I thought we would paint next week, but they wanted to get started, so we did! It turned out great.

Only so many people can paint at once in the same tiny room, so I also got the girls started repainting our porch chairs and swing outside. We had started them last year with red which requires no less than many coats. Meg had a ball however, and I am pretty sure the drips can be pressure washed off the concrete.

 

Today was a good day, and I think I did several things right in the process. Things that I want to continue to do this summer. ...

First of all, I declared it a Gallamore's only day. From the beginning, before the 9 children dropped by or called asking to play I decided that today would just be us. I told the kids and tried to make it sound like a good idea. Must remember to be proactive in my decisions and guard our family time.

Next, I used the momentum that came with the kids excitement to accomplish something already on my to do list. Must remember to watch for and strategically use these interests.

In addition, I didn't just send the kids off to do something on their own. I got involved in the project when the time was right, even though plenty of opportunities to be lazy presented themselves. I painted with them, took breaks with them and was a part of the process. Must remember to get off my lazy tail and lead!

Hopefully I will remember these things and this summer will be all the better for it.

Long time no see

Hello blog...long time no see! I can assume that if I don't continue to write then people won't continue to read. But, I originally started this blog as an exercise in discipline for me. It was to give me a reason and a place to write, help me capture memories, and then be interesting maybe to a few folks.  So, in bullet format - here is what is going on right now!

• There are 2 more days of school. I am already starting to have moments of anxiety related to juggling home, kids, work, etc all summer. God has been telling me on a daily basis to calm down! 
• I am working on finishing up the Bible bible study that Linda and I wrote. The lessons are all done, but now I am writing out the messages we taught each week. Linda's are all completed - but I am finding it really hard to do.
• I have been seeing a physical therapist for pain in my back for a couple of weeks. I told her yesterday that I realized I want to walk the line of doing whatever I want with my body but having no effects. Pretty sad, huh.
• 1st year of PTA prez is done and it has gone okay. For sure, I feel more ready for next year.
• One of my cats has decided to pee on the bathmat in our bathroom. Every time it is clean! I didn't believe Joe that he was the culprit, so he graciously stepped it up a notch this morning and in the absence of a bathmat used the pile of dirty towels. Animals are filthy!!!

Are you seeing a theme...lots of things to be done, very lazy girl. I am laying low and trying to gather up my umph to face lots of things.

It's gonna be a great summer!

Last Words

Last night Joe and I were sitting on the front porch enjoying the evening after supper. We could hear the kids playing in the backyard, lots of squeals and giggling. One of us commented that it was nice to hear them play together and the other agreed.

Then we went to see what they were doing...

 

The trampoline had been pulled up beside the back deck so they could jump off the railing. This was necessary to give more bounce cause they were prefecting back flips. Fun, huh!

It totally reminded me of the famous last words of a redneck..."Hey ya'll, watch this!"

Changing Categories

Learning to drive was a pretty fun experience, and I am sure that at some point one of my parents patiently showed me exactly what to do. I do remember pulling my uncle Eddie's car back and forth in an empty parking lot one year when I was probably only 14. My mom at that time drove a stick shift, so some family gathering was my opportunity for an easier lesson. Drivers Ed didn't exist in my small town, and most of the farm kids drove really early.

Once I began to actually drive around town, Daddy was always pretty willing to ride with me. He would sit all knees in the passenger seat and chat. If something didn't suit him, he would suddenly grab the dash and shout "blessed Jesus, we come to you now..." and it was totally up to the driver to figure out what she had done wrong. Sometimes, the prayer would continue "we're filled with fear and trembling for the lack of stop at the sign". Helpful, huh.

But, the best advice I got from him came after I had been driving a little while. I don't remember the occasion, but it has been said many times since as most motto's are...

"Baby, life is full of two kinds of people. Those who have had an accident and those who are fixin too...don't be too upset when you change categories!"

Well, I changed categories on Wednesday. Part of me wishes my Daddy had been praying some over the top prayer beside me as a warning before I pulled out at that intersection. But, mostly I know not to get too upset, these things happen.

An Old Woman Who Loves Me

 

This is my Granny. And as long as I can remember when my mother would leave us with her she would say, "be nice to her, she's an old woman who loves you." She had to say stuff like that, cause there are lots of family stories of the boy cousins kicking her or accidentally cutting her with scissors. There aren't any family stories about Granny getting mad however, she ruled us through hugs, kisses and emotional  blackmail. Everyone should have the experience of having the lady who just spent an entire weekend helping you memorize something for school say, "well..." or the famous, "that really hurts my heart..."

I could tell stories forever about Granny. I know that I spent tons of time with her and Papa when I was little - but the best memories start after high school. My first two years of college I retreated to her house on weekends when I needed a dose of love and my laundry done. She not only pampered me all weekend, but she encouraged me to bring friends along. Once Joe and I were married she welcomed him and traveled all the way to WI for his college graduation. While I was having 4 kids in 5 years, she would come to visit and work the whole time. My ironing basket would get emptied and my kids would get rocked till they were sick of it.

I'll finish this post with a recent story about Granny. She had called me right in the middle of something, so I ask if I could call her "right back." She said yes, and I did call her right back, except as soon as we got on the phone another call came in and I said, "Oh, let me take this and call you right back again." Two days later I remembered. Feeling bad, I called her up and started to explain. Right in the very beginning of my apology, she interrupted me by saying "guess what?" "What", I said. "You're forgiven!", she said.

It's obvious she truly does love me!

Christmas Moments

We've certainly had a surreal time here in Arkansas. The main thing about being so far from our actual home is that life becomes pretty one dimensional. We are here and yet no one knows our there. And we don't truly know their there either...it's weird. And yet is is great to see all the family in some format.

Martin Christmas has swelled to 31 people - up by several spouses and the great-grands from the teens of my childhood. So far, only PaPa is gone. Although I must say that each year his sons do all they can to become him. I see it in the teasing of my Daddy, the particularness of my Uncle Steve and the competitive edge with the children of my Uncle Jim. We were all touched by Guy Martin.

A few favorite scenes:

 Martin Kids with Granny: Steve, Jim, Granny, Hannah, Bruce (my Daddy) and Ruth Anne.

 Guy and Sam playing Wii tennis with Uncle Jim and Grumpy

Momma and Angel pausing in the dishes.

 Megan and Abby enjoying Christmas Dinner.

A note about today's kids

Yesterday the school went ahead and did the little classroom gift exchange in anticipation of a snow day. Megan was given a Rubik Cube. When she got home, she handed it to Abby and said "I've been trying to work this - can you?"

Abby twisted it a few times and walked straight to the computer where she googled "How to work a Rubik Cube?"

Some random Sunday night thoughts

It has been a busy weekend and sometimes that is bad - but this has been a really good one. I am supposed to be working on a project I am doing for work, but I thought I would take a few minutes to capture all the things I am thinking about.

• About 8pm on Friday night I sat the kids down and gave them a rundown of all that was going to happen this weekend and therefore all the work we needed to do. They were incredibly on board and helpful. I think advance notice really helped.

• I should realistically be able to avoid wrapping presents from this point forward. Abby and Guy did almost all of it and did a fine job. In the midst of a busy season, there is nothing I dread more than needing to be crafty.

• We took the kids to the Milwaukee Wave opener on Saturday night. We should do more stuff like that.

• Tonight was the kids Christmas program. I am a firm believer that everyone should learn to be in front of people...but, my last 2 kids are totally comfortable in front of people. They had a great time and it showed in the grins across their faces.

• We did Christmas today with Joe's parents. At lunch Sam reminded everyone "now remember, if you hate your present don't complain in front of the people." Good words, but unnecessary as they seemed to really like everything.

• The cool part of the kids liking thier presents is that we didn't accept suggestions or lists this year. We bought and encouraged the grandparents to buy things we thought the kids would like or could use.

• The boys were grounded from tv and the computer last week for 7 or 8 days (depending upon the boy). Tonight I realized that some behavior we haven't liked has been gone as well.

• Well, I better get back to work.I like to procrastinate, but that isn't really a great trait to encourage. Plus, I'm not as young as I was when all nighters were the norm.

Best Ever

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and preparations have been going on for several hours here at our house. We have a little bit of a crowd coming tomorrow and are cooking up a storm. So far tonight we have made triple layer mint brownies, deviled eggs, dill potatoes and peas, broccoli rice and cheese, 1/2 of a 7 layer gelatin salad, lemon meringue pie, dressing and a banana creme trifle. Sounds yummy, huh! The rest of the menu is ham and turkey, fried squash, french cut green beans, carrots, corn, okra and tomatoes, a relish tray, cranberry sauce, and rolls. I think our guests are bringing yams and spinach salad and mashed potatoes. I also bought an apple and cherry pie from the local high school culinary dept.

To be honest I really dislike cooking with others so I have had to step out of the kitchen a few times and breath deep. Once I begged Joe to remind me that I want my girls to enjoy coming home and helping with dinner. Memories we are building and by the grace of God let them not be of a shrew.  Tonight the girls are helping in the kitchen while the boys hang with daddy and straighten up. Tomorrow we switch and the boys are my helpers.

We've had some interesting comments so far...

• Abby to Meg, "yeah, she never let me help with anything real when I was little either"

• Abby to Meg, "Well, you see - my kids will actually mind their mom so it won't be as messy as it is at our house."

• Meg's reply to above, "You just keep dreaming that dream Abby!"

• And my favorite from Meg, "It's like tomorrow is going to be the bestest Thanksgiving ever!"

And that sums up the memories I want them to remember - that every year was the best ever!

Today

I totally took a nap today. Not one of those little, put your feet up and sleep a few minutes type things - this was snuggle deep under a quilt that had been laying on the radiator, sleep hard enough for my arm to fall asleep and drool on the pillow. It was great! Even better was that Joe surprised me by coming home at 5:30pm and taking us all out for chinese food since I obviously never got around to making supper.

 

Weekend

We have had the nicest weekend. Happy, productive with quite a bit of work, but all stuff that felt good while we were doing it. Joe has started cleaning out and thinking of possibilities in our walk up attic. We went around the table tonight at supper and let everyone talk about how they think that space should be used. The general consensus is that it should be a multi-purpose / playroom type of space which would be a welcome addition to the house. Of course, the kids wanted to know if it would be ready by tomorrow after school. (They think their daddy can wiggle his nose and accomplish anything!)

I signed up to be a book reviewer for Thomas Nelson Publishers. So, I was excited to find my first book in the mailbox and I have been happily reading it in my free time.  Look for a review shortly.

Legacy

Today's topic of Mom Time was about leaving a legacy. The bottom line is that each one of us leaves a legacy behind in the lives of those around us - positive or negative. Linda, the guest speaker talked about an elderly relative on her husbands side who was always negative, bitter and unpleasant to be around - a legacy for sure. It was impactful for me to realize that I am not choosing if I want to leave a legacy, I am only allowed the choice of what kind of legacy I leave.

Beyond the squawks and squeaks

We added a trumpet to the house today. Guy came out of the school with that black case and a huge smile on his face. "Don't worry momma," he said. "I learned all about it today."  Then he proceeded to play it for us all in the van on the way home. Wow, I had forgotten in the 3 years since Abby started what a beginning trumpet player sounds like.

Of course, this brought back up the worry that Sam has that we won't buy him a drum set when it's time. We've already agreed to percussion for him - and actually it has been on the table for everyone - but he is the first to declare that as his instrument of choice. Anyway, he had to ask again if I was sure we would get him ACTUAL drums when it was time, and my standard answer of "son, we'll get whatever you need" was once again not reassurance enough.

I love music, I love to listen to it and I so wish I could clap in rhythm. So, for me it is a thrill to think that someday we will be beyond 6th grade band concerts and hear actual music. It makes all the squawks and squeaks worth it.

Growing Up

School started back in WI today.

This weekend we got all sort of little projects done around the house including cleaning the kids bedrooms really good. Of course, it isn't a  truly clean room in the Gallamore home without rearranging the furniture and even trading bunk beds. The kids were all organized and set and the rest of the house was reasonably clean - making me a "good mom".

Of course, I know that isn't really true...but we all feel it when things click just right.

There were no tears this year. Everyone was totally happy to see their friends again, jump into the routine and be busy. We hadn't talked about lunch really, so I got up and packed lunches for everyone and even remembered to include notes. When I handed Sam his lunch box, he said, "oh, I don't need this - I'm eating hot lunch. I checked my balance at open house and I have $5 left from last year." Before I had time to react, Guy walked by and said, "I'll take his lunch" and proceeded to empty the contents into his lunch box and force the zipper closed. They are totally growing up, but I guess that is the plan.

16 Years Since This Kiss

  

10 years is really short

I had my first baby just two months after my 23rd birthday. Her name  is Abby and I had no clue what I was getting into. I didn't want to go to grad school and I knew that I wanted to be a momma, so it seemed like a good option.

We were really young. And yet, we had already accomplished a lot. Married almost 3 years, moved across the country once, finished two college degrees and bought our first house.

And then I  brought a baby home. And my momma gave my house a good cleaning and stocked my kitchen and went home. My in-laws visited, took us out to eat several times, and went home. And Joe went to work and there I was with a baby. It was a heady feeling looking back - but, I did great. She is alive and well and turned 13 this spring.

10 years is really short to prepare her for all that I was able to do at 23. And yet I must prepare her cause she's totally going to grow up whether I prepare her or not - and not being prepared is going to hurt worse.

So, this morning I have totally frustrated her. I won't tell her where to put the scraps from her current sewing project. We talked about possibilities of what she could do with that fabric earlier today and I have reminded her of that conversation. I have given her several options which only seems to frustrate her more - but the choice is hers. We're starting to count down till they are all hers.

Summer Spectacular

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Have you ever seen cuter kids?

He'd had enough

My father was a very patient man this week. He did a great job playing the elder statesman role of soothing the waters, helping people navigate the deeper emotions of it all and generally keeping things light by asking every child who walked in if they bite. It's a necessary question and without fail cracked them up.

But, as he changed a flat tire on the side of a shoulderless road in rural AR after 9pm  on the evening of his mother-in-law's funeral and my momma and I chattered beside him he said "could you just shut up?"

Momma, "Bruce, I'm just talking to Shelley."

Me, "Yeah, Daddy we're just verbally processing the day."

Daddy, "Verbal process all you want, just do it silently!"

It's my favorite quote of the visit.

My hug rules

I get teased cause I don't like to hug people.

I get frustrated when people who I don't know very well try to hug me...especially if it random and no bad news has exchanged hands. I don't like to hug men I don't choose and I especially don't like hugging people a lot taller than me.

I am willing to break all these rules for all the right reasons. There were a lot of right reasons these past few days. 

My Daddy was standing outside waiting on me when I pulled into the parking lot of my Granny's business - very necessary hug. And in the midst of all the strangers at the visitation, when my aunt and uncles from the other side of the family got there to call me "girl" and hug my neck I knew my people had arrived. Their hug was safe and familiar...literally the same hug I have gotten for 36 years.

When Mr. Durwood, Mr. Billy and Mr. John Ed came in I was thrilled to give them a hug. Big, bear hugs that said  how glad I was to see them and how I thanked them for loving my parents by driving an hour or two to sit through a funeral for a lady they met once before.

 My grandfather's brother who I never knew cause my Papa didn't like him, but who loved my grandparents got several hugs. Every time I saw him sitting, looking so much like I remember my grandfather I wanted to give him another hug. Cause he deserved better from people who are dead and I am not dead - so I hugged him.

All in all, it was a huggy couple of days and as I drove away I reflected on why I was okay with all that and not okay with random hugs. I think it is all about meaning and necessity. If we are always hugging people it loses its value. And we need the value for the big days of our lives when we need a hug.

Going Home

I had to go to Arkansas quick cause my Grandmother died on Saturday. This was my mother's mother and truthfully I wasn't very close to her as an adult. I say that only to explain that the emotion wasn't terribly high, I was concerned more about  being there for my momma than I was about losing someone I didn't have much interaction with. But still, it was the first in a possible line of times that something will happen to my family and I will be 12 hours away. I hate that distance. I love Waukesha, and I love our life, and I love all that God has given us in community - but a part of my heart will always live with the "pearl of the prairie".

I'll write more as things happen...

Unk...the man, the legend

Unk came to town this weekend.

The significance of that statement probably isn't totally felt by anyone except for 4 kids who think their Uncle Aaron hung the moon. Because of our career paths (well, mostly his as the US Navy is less flexible) we haven't been able to live near my brother and his family for the past 7 years. So, during that time the legend has grown as Unk has become someone we see at special times, rather than an annoying uncle you have to kiss at all the family gatherings.

But, while traveling to a new duty station last weekend he took time to stop and spend the night with us. We played in the yard, threw a koosh ball around, and talked a lot. (if you think I can chat...) The boys were especially thrilled to find that he still had a few moves left on the skateboard. Check out the fun...

Future Men

 

Blogging Live from the Budget Summit

Update: The Summit is over. We worked 6 hours on it, which Joe estimates is about 9 good man hours with my little wandering problem. It feels good to have a plan...

Joe and I are in the midst of a budget meeting. It has been 3 months since I confessed to Joe that our finances were in a shambles and we began to work on fixing things...this meeting is just one small step in the process. More and more we are leaning to have good conversations and really communicate.

One of the things we learned that really resonated with us at FPU was Dave Ramsey's explanation of how each family tends to have both a nerd and a free-spirit and they have to learn to work together. Both are very helpful and valid positions, but if they don't learn to respect each other then it messes up the  process. (and creates lots of fights!) Of course, Dave cautions the nerd about making the meeting into a summit as the free spirit only has a 15 minute attention span.

To let you in on who is what in our house...here is a rundown of the afternoon.

Shelley's activities:

• Suggest we clean up the savings accounts
• go for snacks
• change the laundry
• look over Joe's shoulder and comment on savings accounts
• whine about the number of accounts Joe has set up
• ask if the date night category can actually be a new couch fund
• go for a 2nd snack
• make a list of jobs for Joe to do around the house
• decide to blog

Joe's activities:

• begin to clean up savings accounts
• stare at screen thinking
• question what would shelley's tendency be so he can outsmart it
• change all auto savings line items to automobile line items
• nibble on snacks and smile at wife
• stare at screen thinking
• finish cleaning up accounts
• explain the whole process to shelley

Seriously, I praise God for a nerd of a husband. His ability to not only sit in the chair long enough to work things out, but to love me in my need to multi-task and move around is wonderful. Together we make great plans and together we will hopefully accomplish them!

Hold me Daddy

One of the things that is always brought up by mother's of several young children is how they are all "touched out" by the end of the night. This is usually one of the excuses brought up regarding avoiding intimacy with their husbands - with kids hanging on them all day, grabbing their hands and sitting in their laps they are just done by bedtime. I've  been there and lived that. With 4 kids born in 5 years, many were the nights I just wanted to be left alone.

So, that is why I laughted extra hard tonight when I realized that my days of endless touching have drawn to a close.  I said to Joe as the kids headed up to bed "I don't think  you hugged me tonight?" And he shuddered and sorta pushed me away saying "everyone is just constantly touching me...hug me if you must, but make it quick." Thinking back over the night ( and most recent nights) the boys are in a constant state of wrestle with or bump into dad, while the girls wanna sit by him, on him and around him.  Plus, there are still numerous request for piggy  back rides from Dad while I haven't carried a child in years.

Yeah, the tables have totally turned!

My home town

One of my favorite things to do when I go home is to take a drive with my Daddy through town and hear all about what has happened. As we meander  around looking at stuff he will show me the houses of the town that people  have fixed up and the ones that are a shame. He'll fill me in on marriages and divorces, which of my high school friends still live there and triumphs of the business community. Often I'll ask about specific places. While I grew up in a small town in Arkansas - it is pretty impressive when you see the advances that have been brought to the prairie.  Riceland Foods  continues to grow, Easter Seals has built a satellite office and the Community College is a beautiful building.

But, I can't wait until the next visit. Cause a lot of changes started this past weekend when a tornado struck. The next time I visit there will be lots of changes to admire and probably some sad stories as well. Let me take you on a tour...

Here is the armory where we attended Rotary fish frys when I was little, my prom was held and tons of other events. Daddy said tonight on the phone it is going to be torn the rest of the way down.

Here is First Baptist Church where I grew up and got married. Of course, it had a steeple back then.

Here is one of the shops at Triple T Farms. I can't imagine that this is one of the huge buildings I took for granted as a child playing at the Tarkington's.

As we hear about all the destruction that has happened in the world recently, I can totally put this in perspective...no one died, no one is suffering without water or hope of rescue. But, it was a little sad to hear about my home town. And I look forward to sitting in the truck beside Daddy and hearing the stories.

That's my boy

Conversation while typing the previous blog post...

Sam, "oh, so you look at your hands while you type?"

Me, "Yeah, but I am not a very good typist, you should really learn not to while you have the chance."

Sam, "No, there really isn't a good reason to not look at your hands, it helps you check your work."

Me, "Yes, but you won't ever be really good at it."

Sam, "So, who needs to be really good at typing. I can type and that is enough."

Me, "Well, you wouldn't be able to get a job typing."

Sam, (with wrinkled forehead) "So, who would want a job sitting down and typing all day. I already have a back up job planned if playing soccer doesn't work out and it won't be typing"

He is so my child!

Overheard coming out of church

Sam, "Momma, you are old fashioned!"

Me, "Really, why do you say that?"

Sam, "Well...you are old and you have no fashion = old fashioned!"

Me, "Thanks son, thanks a lot."

Another Hat

I got another hat tonight...that of PTA president of Randall Elementary for the next two years. Yeah, I know...I thought long and hard about it. (that is the first question most people ask me)  But, as you can guess from the title of this blog, I don't like to leave any extra time on the table.

And, even more importantly I want to be invested in my kids school. Invested goes beyond helping a little and being aware of what happens during or after the fact...I want to be able to decide a few things. Or at least know that I gave my opinion. So, when the position became available I took the plunge...hopefully the hat will fit well!

Tampons and little boys

Last night the babysitter asked if I had any tampons. I went upstairs and got two from the hiding place I keep them so my boys will never stumble across them and placed two on the bathroom counter. I was thinking one for now and one for later. She left one on the counter...

This morning when I knocked on the bathroom door to ask Guy what was taking so long after his shower, he said "momma, I have a question!"  Next thing I knew he opened the door quick and stuck an unwrapped tampon in my face and said "WHAT is this!!!"  My first reaction was equally fierce..."IT IS NOTHING...GIVE IT TO ME!" But, then on the way to the trash can I remembered my desire to have kids who talk to me, that he had already had at least 2 talks with his daddy, and that I was a little foolish for acting so shocked. All that and the fact that my future daughter-in-law needs to be able to send him to the store for "personal products" all went through my mind.

I turned back and very calmly said "it is a tampon, ladies use them while on their period. Do you have any questions about that?" "No," he said. "I just wondered." 

Whew...glad that's over!

Good Friday

The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
   a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
   nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
   a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
   We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
   our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
   that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
   that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
   Through his bruises we get healed.
We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost.
   We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong,
   on him, on him.          Isaiah 53:4-6 MSG

A few minutes into the Good Friday service tonight Sam leaned over and said "I don't know why they don't call it Awesome Friday instead of Good Friday - that would really be a better word don't you think momma?"

Have an awesome Good Friday!

Field Trip

The Gallamore's took a field trip yesterday to Chicago. We needed to take the girls to meet my mom so they could fly home to Arkansas with her, so we decided to take the kids to Shedd Aquarium while there. They loved it! Sam had just finished a report on Komodo Dragons for school so he was really excited about the traveling exhibit of the Lizard king. And Megan was willing to sit for over 30 minutes to make sure she had upfront seats for the dolphin show. We had a great time and then we met my mom at her hotel and had supper at Cracker Barrel before leaving the girls and heading back.

My Advise worked...

...and I know because Joe used it on me.

On Friday I told my Bible Study group that when they are trapped in a cycle of disrespect and unloving behavior with their spouse that someone has to make a move to get off. As believers we can't base our reactions toward others on their behavior toward us. We have to respect our husbands because God said so...not because they act loving toward us.

I suggested they remember the following verses during  a time like this...

"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" Matthew 5:4

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,  But a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

So, on Saturday we had a lovely day home with the family. There have been some huge changes at our house in terms of finances...after almost 15 years of me running things (and not necessarily well) Joe has taken the lead. It's a great change and one I am really excited about  but, I can be honest I have sin issues.   So, throughout the evening as we talked  about some things I was pretty ugly and petulant regarding some things I had asked for that weren't showing up in the budget. Joe worked alongside me in the kitchen cleaning up from supper while I complained and tried to get my way and then disappeared. When I went to find him, he was folding clothes that I had placed on our bed to fold later.

He worked alongside me as we put the kids to bed and I started to pout.  It all came to a head when we sat down at the computer and he was trying to explain his plan to both cover what I wanted and balance the budget and I looked at him and said, "Do you know you have said that 3 times? What do I need to do to get you to stop saying it?" I was pure meanness and he looked at me with a smile and said very calmly, "Yeah, they say I repeat myself at work too. Sorry about that, I just want to make sure you get how much fun my plan could be."

At that point, I was so irritated that he wouldn't fight with me...so I went to bed. I woke the next morning to find that he had gone to the store after I went to bed to make sure we had milk for breakfast and had unloaded the dishwasher. I felt like a heel! And even better I recognized how even in my sinning against him,  he had tried to love me and bless me. So, my advise worked even when I forgot to use it.   

Application

March is application month for me. I am terribly fond of reading things...great thoughts, great ideas and new great methods for doing old, boring things. The Company Girl link that my blog has worn for the past two months is a great example of that. Rachel Anne at her blog Home Sanctuary started a little encouragement system for the company girls to do one small thing each day to or with our homes and families. It's a great read if you haven't ever clicked over...go there now.

Her idea is that creating a sanctuary for our family comes down to the small things we do each day and rather than be overwhelmed we need to just tackle one thing each day. So, each morning inspiration comes in the form of a suggestion for the day including great music to fit the theme. Very fun! To make it even better there are points to collect with prizes at the end of the month.

So, with all this fun incentive you can imagine that I have been hard at work for the past two months creating a sanctuary right here at my house! Well, no, not exactly. I have been exactly reading it each day thinking "what a great idea."

But, today I found the comet and scrubbed my sink in a way that would make Janette Martin proud!

Trying to keep up!

It is going to be a very busy week that will head right into a very busy weekend. The countdown has started for the Ladies Link annual retreat...5 days! On Friday we will head to the Ostoff Resort for 48+ hours of girl time...lots of silliness, relaxing and time to "connect with God and other women". That is our mission statement and I might as well quote it, cause that is the whole purpose. I can't wait! Truly this is one of my favorite things we do each year. (Only ranks as one cause I actually like almost all of my job a ton!)

In addition to working on the retreat, I am teaching in Mom Time right now from a book called Teach them Diligently. Excellent book... Honestly I suggested it as an option for our scratch your niche series simply because I wanted a chance to dig into it a little more.  That is a great theory, but it does require me to study! 

Anyway, the retreat is bearing down upon us which means I am juggling last minute details! And yet my family had an issue with the fact that there were no towels this morning without trooping down to the dryer. And 2 of my kids just quietly wore mismatched socks, God bless them! Unfortunately, Joe sorta likes two plain black socks with his suit. So, laundry was a big part of my day in between all the other stuff. After school both Sam and Guy had a friend over which I thought was very big of me since I just wanted the clothes folded and put away. Both girls went to gymnastics class / practice at separate times which meant 4 trips back and forth to the YMCA - did I mention it is barely in the double digits today. I was doing okay with all this "family time" until at supper when 3 of the kids all wanted to know why they couldn't have a sleepover with at least 4 friends like Abby had recently. I was not very friendly toward the idea!!!!  First, I explained "momma has to have a sleepover with 200 ladies and then we will talk about your friends." They saw the stress and wisely let the matter drop. Great kids huh? 

It was time

New Favorite Show

The whole conversation at supper was about American Idol. Twice this week the Gallamore family has gathered around to watch people compete to become the next idol. While the show has been around for several years, we just discovered it last year when the kids went to my parents for spring break. They came home totally addicted and it quickly became a  favorite.

As our family gets older it gets more fun to do things together even as it gets harder to find things everyone  is interested in - American Idol offers us something fun to watch, shared experience to discuss and a common cause to root for...should be a great season!

A Spoiled Baby

Moe has spent the entire night here relaxing on the couch like he hasn't a care in the world. Oh, wait...he doesn't have any cares. His bowl fills with food every morning and there is always someone available to give him a cuddle or throw the ball. What a life!

The good news is that his strange skin condition seems to be getting better, although we still aren't entirely sure what caused it. He seems to have adjusted to wearing shirts - yes, that is a binder clip holding it together for him.  And I have to admit that while I am still not a dog person, I totally love this mutt.  And his brother! 

A Poem and a picture

Moesy-Posey pumpkin pie

Dude is naked and I wonder why

Could it be something you ate?

Could it be your raccoon fate?

You are such a good-natured dog, thanks for not biting

I know that your scare was really frightening

Max sure was trying to tell us

Barking, jumping and making a fuss

We wonder if we ever will know

Why you are covered with red pokey-dots so

It’s nice that you look great in green

Since your butts going to be shaved until Halloween

So take your medicine like a good dog that begs

And perhaps you won’t look like a naked sow with hairy legs

Christmas Highlights

It was a great finish to 2007 to watch the last few minutes of New Years Rockin Eve with my kids and try to explain why people are gathered there to celebrate. (I actually forgot to turn it on until about 11:40pm, so we only saw a few minutes - not long to build excitement.)

And 2007 has been a great year! The kids are another year older and maybe Joe and I have gotten slightly better at this parenting thing. In fact, it has started to be pretty fun lately. I think we are entering what my friend Joe Anderson called "the golden years." He used this term to describe the time when everyone could use the bathroom alone but no one really had hormones yet. And it is awfully golden - although currently I am feeling all warm and mellow toward "the hard years"  of 4 kids in 5 years as well. It has all been good in fact. When scripture says that children are a blessing it ain't lyin.

So what was the highlight of the year for you? I could come up with many highlights, but here are a few...

• Watching Abby make the transition to Middle School so smoothly
• Hearing Megan learn to read almost overnight. When her teacher asked how she moved up so fast, she replied, "It was really hard, so I just pushed myself".
• Beginning to enjoy more and more family dinners as Joe has caught that vision and made it a priority
• Building ministry teams this year and seeing them begin to work together
• Attending the She Speaks conference with Kim and Chris and then seeing God so clearing using them this year
• Sitting at the table blogging at night while Joe works on his computer and our children sleep upstairs

Thanks be to God from whom all blessings flow! I can hardly wait for 2008!