Crumbs from a full plate...

Choosing My Reaction

I was sleeping soundly at 6:15am this morning when the light came on in the bedroom and my husband  said, "How much do you think we will spend on medical expenses this year? And what were the details of the bill for Guy's orthodontic work."

Yeah, I was surprised. And my first reaction internally was not very friendly.

Funny thing is that on Tuesday of this week I taught a message at M.O.M. Time about communication based off of Ephesians 4:29 where I made up an example almost exactly like this. Except this one wasn't made up...it was in my bedroom. Today. Early in the morning.

I sat up and said something to the effect of "huh??"  And Joe realized that he had probably chosen poorly when it came to financial discussion time; apologized quickly, mentioned that the deadline for signing up for our flex spending was Friday and  turned the light back out before  heading downstairs.

I'm not going to lie to you, this is not the first time I have been woken up like this. Just as I like to choose poorly and discuss what we should do about christmas while Joe is watching a ballgame in the fall - he spends his quiet morning time thinking of stuff and likes to get those answers right then. And usually, he pays dearly for those questions. I am not shy about being ugly when I am feeling wronged. Definitely an area of sin for me and something I have been convicted about - especially last week as I was writing a lesson on how to communicate in a God honoring way.

One of the questions I suggested we think of when trying to communicate well is "Is it a good time".  The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing is properly chosen. I agree  that  we should try not to blindside someone with a question when they are not expecting it. But, what if someone does it anyway? At that point, do I then have the right to react poorly cause they timed it poorly? Not at all.

So, I said a quick prayer of "please help me be gracious and thank you for giving me a hardworking, planning ahead kinda guy" as I headed down the stairs.  In the desk drawer was the contract. Bringing that and an index card to the kitchen counter I began listing all the known expenses for the upcoming year, laid out the two options we have for paying for braces and started the coffee. It only took about 10 minutes to answer all the years questions and Joe was able to leave for work prepared with all the little details he needs to make sure our family is prepared for 2010.

As I enjoyed my coffee,  I was so glad I choose to respond well. It might not have been my preferred best time, but it wasn't a bad time.

Obedience

A couple of days ago I asked my children to begin raking the leaves in the yard. Two of them started in the front yard, so as I left I asked them to move to the back yard as soon as they finished that area. I left to run an errand, and returned to find them finishing up raking the neighbors front yard.

I was pretty irritated. I got out of the car and asked "why didn't you do the back yard?" and listened as they explained that they decided to help out the neighbor. They reminded me that it is good to help the neighbor, that they were just be generous, etc. And yet, they didn't obey me. All my attempts to correct them for not obeying were lost in the midst of their explanations of why what they chose was better.

Later, I thought...that is exactly how God must feel when I go on and on serving him in some manner that looks great but isn't what he asked me to do. He, like me is saying "that's great...but you didn't obey."

Caught off Guard

We've gotten pretty far behind in reading the New Testament with the kids. Our first 9 days were great...we read no matter what each night all together. Then...life got busy, kids got sick, we got tired of antics and wanted to put people to bed earlier...excuses abound.

So, tonight I knew we needed to get back on track. We've had a perfectly relaxing rainy friday afternoon. Angel (my sister) is here visiting and things have been humming along since we picked the kids up from school. We've visited, done a little housework, fixed supper and had rented a movie for the family. As we finished up supper, I announced that we should read. I struggled with this a little - I worry way to much about what others think. My mind went back and forth between will Angel think we're weird for reading and will she think we're just doing it for show cause we are behind. Like I said...way to much worry about appearances.

So, we sat down to read and amazingly everyone was happy and cooperative. Abby read the first chapter from Mark and then Guy read the second. As we headed into 1 Corinthians I opened up the message version up to chapter 5 and then did a double take at the page. Have you read 1 Corinthians 5 in a while? Me either....

"I also received a report of scandalous sex within your church..."  Wow! I stumbled a little and gave Joe a look over my eyebrows - not really what I intended to read tonight with my 3rd grader sitting so close. As I continued to read what is actually a very easy to understand explanation of sex, and marriage and even how to interact with people about those around you the kids giggled a little. But, when I continued they listened and eventually 3 chapters were over. And on the other side I was happy about having had an opportunity to put some thoughts in their heads about these really important topics.

So, if you want an interesting read, check out 1 Corinthians 5-7 in the Message version of the Bible. It's pretty plain, both in letter and the spirit.  But, you might want to put your 3rd grader to bed first.

Catching Up

It has been 12 days since Joe went to work. I think I could totally get used to this lifestyle of him hangin around. He really hasn't done much if you count it in tasks, but he has taken the kids to school and picked them up everyday, gone on a field trip with Meg, watch at least 2 after school flag football games for Guy, dropped me off at work each day and taken quite a few naps with Moe the dog. In general, it has been a refreshing little break in life.

It all ends on Monday when he heads off to the new job. Past experience tells me that he will work non-stop for months getting himself situated in the new culture. And I'm okay with that, cause at the end of the day I believe we were all created to work.

Tonight was our first Journey team meeting. It's a little weird, cause this is Joe's group and he's really trying to lead - and I'm a leader in the Journey structure. So, I have to ultimately act a little disconnected to keep myself from taking over. Plus, truthfully, I have control issues that arise pretty much anytime I'm not in control...

Poor Joe. I posted my facebook status and mentioned that I felt like maybe they should have given him some duct tape to cover my mouth with. But, actually it went pretty good - great actually. We have a group of people with a lot of commonalities in their season of life so they seemed to click. it's gonna be a fun 10 weeks.

Well, better end...Joe's going to read to us now.

The Battle

Here, then, is the real problem of our negligence. We fail in our duty to study God's Word not so much because it is difficult to understand, not so much because it is dull and boring, but because it is work. Our problem is not a lack of intelligence or a lack of passion. Our problem is that we are lazy. --R. C. Sproul

 

Today is the first day of the New Testament Challenge at FRCC. We have committed to read the entire new testament in 9 weeks. Easy enough, and yet it is going to be very hard. This quote sums up why...laziness.

So, that is what I must battle, the desire to put it off, the desire to sleep a little later, the desire to "do it later." If I am not diligent, every day will have a great excuse.

Last Day

I am writing this post from my front porch even though it is a little chilly this morning. I know it won't be long that I get to sit on the porch - either the weather will turn too cold or my house will sell. Who knows if my next house will have a porch? We have such a list of non-negotiable requirements regarding that next house that adding a porch seems pretty risky. I laugh cause people always express concern because we haven't looked yet. What they don't realize is that by the time you narrow your options, and narrow your location, and narrow your list of requirements - you only get to look at a couple of house anyway.

I wanted to capture today in a post. Joe just left for his last day of work at Ayres.  This is more significant than many job changes. It was at least 3 years ago that he first began to feel like maybe this wasn't a place he could work, 2 years since he first felt like he might have to leave, and 1 year since he began looking. That is a long time and through it all he kept feeling certain that things were gonna work.

And suddenly we are at today. The last day at a place that captured his heart for the last 9 years. There is nothing 1/2 way in Joe Gallamore. Other people have commented about how now he can slack, but the truth is that he has worked late 3 nights this week trying to leave projects in a good spot for others. I suspect he is thinking about working late tonight. But, if he does, it will be the last time there...

Last night

Last night, I coached some people through the process of telling their faith story for the weekend service. I love helping capture testimonies! Listening to people tell their story is absolutely the best.

While we were standing in the foyer afterward, an older lady walked in with a young girl. She had picked the girl up along the highway and was trying to find her some help. The girl was young, had a pretty convincingly told, but clearly wrong story - so I excused myself to call her a "cab".  When the police showed up, she looked at me like I had betrayed her. I said at that point, "honey, I hope you live long enough to remember when that woman made you mad by calling the police."

As she left with the officer, I prayed that her homecoming would be good. Parenting is so hard and so is being 15 - hopefully things can be better. Either way, praise God for the lady who stopped and picked her up along the road.

Sometimes God speaks to me through the words he gives me initially for another. Or maybe they aren't really ever for another, but he knows I will listen more intently if I first suppose it is for another.

Either way is actually okay. The point is hearing God. And I did this morning.

One of my friends posted that she missed her son on facebook. I know that she has struggled with sending him to school this year and her heart is truly missing him. And  yet, I also know that she felt that the answer of him going to school was a clear answer. So, I prayed, "what can I say to help her, what advice would the bible give?"

And suddenly I was making a comments telling her all the things she could praise God for regarding her son...and the list continued...and things kept coming to my mind. Big things, things that if taken away aren't small and yet I know I often forget to even acknowledge that they exist much less be thankful. Finally I ended in the way that seemed right  with a paraphrase of Psalm 118:24.

I was thinking about my comment to her later as I was driving to school and frankly wondering if she would "get it" in the manner I meant it. And suddenly I realized that the answer was as much for me as for her. This has been a summer of people going away. Some have moved, some have left places that directly impacted my life, some have taken new opportunities...emotionally it has been long. And some days I am tempted to post my status as "I miss them!"

Cause I do miss them!

Yet clearly I heard that this is today's path, these are today's ventures. God has rearranged things from my comfortable and I have to stop looking behind at my loss and focus on my gain. The way to  not be stuck in the "I miss" is to be focused on the reality of all my blessings.

Worn out and lovin it

Someday, when my boys are grown I plan to visit their homes. I look forward to that day when I can accept a canned drink from them and promptly pull the little tabby thing off to deposit inside my can.

I am already practicing the look for when I say, "oh, did you not want me to do that?"

And that is the stage of parenting I have entered. The stage where the things they do continuously can be annoying, but aren't that bad. And I wouldn't think to correct another person outside my family. So I have to seriously consider if it is necessary to harp on them all day. Actually, no consideration needed - I know it isn't, but man it might be fun. And yet, not so productive.

See the back and forth in my mind?

In all seriousness, school started back this year and my kids are exponentially older. With this school year I have a high schooler, another middle schooler and a 6th grader who is so over elementary school. Plus, a baby who doesn't even look back while she runs from the car in the morning. All summer it was easy to believe that they were all still just kids forever  hanging out and making messes.

Now they are suddenly so grown up. And the child who I was the most worried about has had a wonderful transition. Not only has it been fairly easy, but any problems have been simply humorous stories to share over snack. What a relief! On the other hand, the child who hasn't needed a thing for several years has cried both afternoons. And evenings. And still sniffling at bedtime.

Totally wasn't expecting that. And yet it sums up the stage of parenting I have entered. Two steps forward and one back. Totally capable and very hesitant. Very grown up and confident and needs momma.

I am totally lovin this new stage and totally worn out by it.

Trust, but verify

I registered my 2nd child for something beyond elementary school today. Two years ago when I went with Abby for middle school orientation, it was a totally new feeling. I looked around that school and thought of what it would be like from a position of total newness. This was a different feeling today. I no longer am new to middle school, I know where things are located, I know what to expect from the school.

My feeling of newness and anticipation was totally related to my child. How would he react? What will he become? How will the next two years mold and shape him?

 

Isn't he cute? If you see him don't comment cause he isn't near as impressed with him momma's blog as his siblings are. In fact, when I took this picture he turned and said very calmly, "momma, this is no time for a picture, help me get this locker open."

Anyway, I sat today and listened to the parent pep talk by the principal who did a fine job of challenging us to not stop parenting just cause our kids were in 7th grade. He talked very seriously about how these years were gonna fly and how they were the years that our kids would begin to challenge all the morals and values we had instilled. He asked if we step out, who will help guide them? Even good kids can get in trouble if the options are available.  He encouraged us to continue being engaged, and nosy, and yet let them be responsible. Balance is what it sounded like to me. Or as they say on CSI Miami...trust, but verify.